Why You Are Living In A Mental Prison — And How To Escape It

“Life will present itself with the people and circumstances to reveal where you’re not free“ — Peter Crone

As humans, we’re wired to feel any painful emotion that often falls into the bucket of either Depression or Anxiety.

Depression is a symptom of being mentally stuck in the past, stuck with a past hurt that has time-traveled to the present.

Take sadness, guilt, worthlessness, or hopelessness. Such emotions can be considered part of depression. We all feel those emotions in some form or level of intensity — sometimes or often.

Anxiety is a symptom of being mentally stuck in the future. Stuck with a future potential that hasn’t happened yet.

Emotions such as restlessness, worry, nervousness, or dread, all fall under the umbrella of anxiety. These too, are an inextricable part of our human experience.

Depression and Anxiety — both are a gift.

They are the presents that we are given that inform us about the need for change and the potential for personal transformation.

In the lives of those who are privileged with the basic necessities of life, they often inform us about the bars of our mental prisons — which are of our own making.

They reveal where we are needlessly stuck in time — In a past we try to avoid or a future we try to control.

However, the past can’t be avoided. You are already past it.

The future can’t be controlled. The future is not here now.

There’s only the present.

Both depression and anxiety keep us from the present and are grounded in fear. Fear for the repetition and continuation of the past, or the unknown unfolding of the future.

“Past hurt informs future fear “— Peter Crone

If we are bullied as children we are hurt and might develop a people-pleasing tendency. As we fear its repetition, we develop this behavioral adaptation to avoid the bullying of the past.

Or if we grew up poor as a child, in a family barely scraping by, we might develop desperation for future financial security. As we fear a potential empty bank account, we’re chronically looking ahead to see how to gain more financial wealth.

Both are mental prisons that reveal where we’re not free.

They are a jail for the mind that appears when a similar context presents itself as at the moment of trauma — and so we re-experience the same emotion.

In some cases, the prison is even subtly ever-present, influencing every expression of our being.

What if, for every emotion grounded in fear we stop and investigate its validity first?

As the truth is: How can we avoid a past that already happened — or avoid a future that’s only real in our imagination?

We can’t.

The bullies are in the past. So why are we still people-pleasing?

The financial insecurity is in a future that doesn’t exist. So why do we hoard for more?

The past and future only appear as an illusion. When you become aware of this mental trick and return to the present, the mental prison dissolves.

That is not to say the emotions disappear, as emotions are an inextricable part of our human experience. It’s the underlying belief that gave rise to the emotion that dissolves.

The goal isn’t to become emotionless. The goal is to resolve the fears that give rise to needless negative emotions— while being okay with feeling them in the present.

To feel them with curiosity, acknowledge them without judgment, and understand them with compassion.

“We all arrive with our bucket of fears and the game is who can resolve them the first. Then, you become an inspiration for others to do the same” — Peter Crone

What comes available in the absence of all fears?

What happens when all of our protective mechanisms are resolved?

Then reaction becomes creation.

Then the people pleaser becomes a true friend — pleasing people through genuine empathy and showing tough love when necessary instead of a pretense of generosity to avoid confrontation.

Then the money hoarder pursues wealth to be able to share it with those who need it — instead of trying to fill an emotional hole of financial insecurity with more cash.

Then we escape the mental prisons, and we don’t have to hold back anymore to be our authentic selves, FULLY.

That’s true freedom.

So when do you worry?

When do you feel worthless, angry, jealous, or scared?

When do you feel that subtle hum of anxiety?

Pay attention.

“Life will present you with the people and circumstances to reveal where you’re not free” — Peter Crone